Whose Normal?
To be clear from the start this blog is not about Who’s (Who Is) Normal, attempting to determine if anyone actually is normal. (Doubtful at best.) Rather, this blog will focus on who gets to determine what normal is (Whose Normal). The thought stems from a conversation I had the other day that challenged my thinking.
I was having lunch with a friend who works at one of the local mission agencies. We were discussing some of the frustrations he was having dealing with families and individuals who come from different backgrounds and cultures than he does. Then he made a statement that stopped me in my tracks. He said, “Dan, I like to think that I see the world the way that it actually is. But I am realizing that I only really see the world the way that I am.” Let me repeat that in bold.
I like to think that I see the world the way that it actually is. But I am realizing that I only really see the world the way that I am.”
He went on to say that he believed that was true not only in relation to the clients with whom he works but in most relationships, including those he has with neighbors, other church members, and even his relationships with his wife and teenage children.
Think about all the times you see someone do something and think to yourself, “Why do they do it that way?” or “Why did they make that decision?” or even “Why did they react like that?” We ask those questions because others are doing things that, from our perspective, seem out of the ordinary or we would have done differently.
We need to realize that they are just as likely to see the way that we do things and ask similar questions. Our ‘normal’ is an indication of our personal priorities, motivations, and values. Frustration occurs when the priorities, motivations, and values of others inconvenience us.
For example, we believe in the need to be prompt and punctual, but others prioritize responding to the needs of people in the moment, which may interfere with their punctuality. Or we might value orderliness in worship and other similar contexts, but others prefer the slight chaos that comes when gathering with multiple generations.
I believe that my friend is correct. We do see the world the way that we are. Fortunately, by God’s grace, we live in creation that is not limited by our cultural myopia. Experiencing life through the lenses of others will help us develop patience instead of frustration and may turn the question of “Why do they…?” to “Why do I?”
May each of us pursue these experiences that we may continue to grow into the likeness of Jesus.
Subscribe to the Mission Outreach Blog and be the first to read our bi-weekly updates.
As RPC’s Associate Pastor for Mission Outreach, Rev. Dr. Dan Kreiss, has a heart for service and a diverse array of experiences in the mission field. Be sure to subscribe to the Mission Outreach Blog to read and follow along as he documents his personal journey and shares his vision for RPC’s mission outreach commitment. Along with providing meaningful resources, this blog will help jumpstart the important conversations our church community must be having about missional living.
Rev. Dr. Dan Kreiss
Rev. Dr. Dan Kreiss is the Associate Pastor for Mission Outreach at RPC. Dan is particularly passionate about encouraging the church to reflect the diversity found in its surrounding community in regard to age, gender, ethnicity, education and economic status.