Shaped by God
Saturday, March 18
Donna Brodsky, member of RPC since 2012
"Be still, and know that I am God!" - Psalm 46:10 (NRSV)
I grew up as part of a large Catholic family with a mom who could best be described as "very productive". She never sat still for a minute. Granted, she did have a lot to do, with six children, but even given the opportunity to relax or be still, she would always choose to be busy. She felt that unless you were accomplishing something, you were wasting your time. Looking back now, I recognize that this busyness allowed her to avoid a variety of problems and issues in our family. Years later, I am also aware that it had a large impact on my own personality.
Five years ago, I moved to Marietta with my husband and two young children. In my head, I had a long list of things I wanted to accomplish. As soon as we moved, I got busy trying to check things off that list... clean/organized house - check, member of the PTA - check, working out daily - check, kids in multiple activities - check, entertaining constantly to make new friends - check. The list went on and on. Each time I would accomplish one thing I would add three more things to my list.
In the midst of my busyness to get things done, I developed a severe case of insomnia. My body was moving so fast and my heart was beating even faster. I would climb into bed at night and lay there with my eyes wide open with no hope of falling asleep. This happened night after night. I went to multiple doctors to try to find a medication to help me sleep but none worked. Now the anxiety crept in... How many days could I go without sleeping? How would I get through my long list of things with no sleep? What if I was so tired I couldn't drive my kids to their activities? Then finally, on one long sleepless night, I realized that this was a sign from God that something had to change.
I have now changed my to-do list. My top priority each and every day is to carve out time to sit and be still with God. I discovered the power of meditation and have witnessed how it allows me to be more present on a daily basis with my family and friends. This new way of living has not come easy for me. It is something I work and pray on daily. Each night when I climb into bed I ask God to lay with me, and I pray for peace within me. I have certainly had many less sleepless nights with God at my side.
God during this Lenten season let us prioritize being still with you. Amen.
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